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18 Alone. She was finally alone. After three solid days of company from the moment she woke up (or more accurately, from before the moment she woke up) until she was an exhausted zombie ready to faceplant, Layla was ready for alone. No mom, no dad, no Alex. A stranger in a strange place with strange noises and smells that was finally starting to take the shape of home.June 2014 The collapse into her mattress came with a delicious sort of pain. The ache of parts strained by too much effort and motion finally unwinding. Sprawled on her back, she lifted a hand and tugged at the elastic holding her curls in a sloppy bun at the crown of her head. Complete release--a stinging, throbbing ache she couldn't help but incite further by burying her fingers next to her scalp and shaking out her hair from there. She was alone. This was real life. Layla Wright, in spirit if not in fact. Starting from Step One instead of from zero. She closed her eyes and hummed around the idea; content in her solitude rather than lonely for once. |
lillaylamccabe
10 months ago #vegas #tbt #wildloneliness Playlist - August 2012
• Home For Supper - Hoots & Hellmouth • Rosalita (Come Out Tonight) - Bruce Springsteen • Somebody to Love - Queen • Diamonds on the Soles of her Shoes - Paul Simon • Subterrenean Homesick Blues - Bob Dylan • Love Song for No One (Live, Acoustic) - John Mayer • Take Me to The River - Al Green • Home - Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros |
18 It had taken time for Layla to branch out beyond the comfort zone of a network. The spider web that had extended from Alex. Lyra to Charlie and Ty and the rest. Jo to Lori and others. Soph was separate and apart. A friend she had made on her own merits rather than through reference. A person with whom she wasn't Alex's kid sister. Her polar opposite in so many ways. Outgoing and brilliant and organized and ambitious. Her kindred spirit in the one way that mattered: kind enough to not make Layla feel like a failure for the things that Soph had that Layla lacked. Supportive and patient without being overbearing. Margarita dinner had been exactly what Layla had needed.May 2015 At least, Layla had thought so. What she hadn't expected was the gnawing feeling in her gut and in the back of her mind at the way Soph glowed while she relayed the details of the latest developments with Parker. It took Layla too long to recognize it for what it was: jealousy. Not over Parker, and not enough to show up externally. Just enough to bother her and start the spiral of guilt that always came with envy. Like everyone else, Soph would outgrow Layla. Move on. Become a part of an 'us' like everyone else had. And there would be Layla. #foreveralone. Her mind drifted to a text that had buzzed through earlier in the day. Amy again. The tour dates were coming. Soph's voice stopped and she realized she hadn't been listening. With a faint hint of a blush and giggle, Layla hid the gap in a sip from her drink. "Sorry, I think I'm drunk. What'd you say?" |
3 Two days past Labor Day, nine to go until the big 2-3. The unofficial start of Fall. The slow roll back into real life after summer had passed. Even five years out of high school, Layla's body still had a muscle memory for summer vacation. Not that she had actually joined the real world after graduation, or even followed the path of most of her classmates. This time around, it was the end of an infinite summer. Five years behind in all the ways that counted. There was nothing to show for it. Not really. A decoupaged shoebox full of the memories she wasn't yet ready to turn to ash. A head full of ghosts.Sept. 2014 She paged through the syllabi and book lists and sighed. Things were going to be different this time around. She was going to be organized. She was going to do her homework. She was going to update her planner and look at it. She could do this. She picked up her pen and turned to the open pages for September, carefully detailing the scheduled assignments. Sept. 18 pp. 1-50 in it trailed off immediately when she turned back to the typed page she was using for reference. Oct. 18th. She groaned, her hands rushing to cover her face, leaving a thin trail of black ink across her cheek as they went. This was not going to end well. |
lillaylamccabe
2 weeks ago @soolf poker night! #bestladydates #pokerface Playlist - 5.29.2015
• Luck Be A Lady - Frank Sinatra • The Lady is a Tramp - Tony Bennett//Lady Gaga • Poker Face - Lady Gaga • Dub Plate - Pharoahe Monch ft. Wyclef Jean & Kenny Rogers • Big Pimpin' - Jay Z f/ UGK • The House of the Rising Sun - The Animals • Losing Hand - Ray Charles • 3 Card Trick - The Clash • Crazy Game of Poker - OAR |